| 536 of midnight gloom, till it found a mansion in my anxious and inquiring heart, that my feet shall once more press the American soil, and under the shade of her streaming banner embrace again the friends I love.
I never knew that I was, in reality, as American, until I walked out one fine morning in Rotterdam along the wharf where many ships lay in the waters of the Rhine. Suddenly my eye caught a broad pennant floating in a gentle breeze over the stern of a fine ship at half-mizzenmast; and when I saw the widespread eagle perched on her banner, with the stripes and stars under which our fathers were led on to conquest and victory, my heart leaped into my mouth, a flood of tears burst from my eyes, and before reflection could mature a sentence, my mouth involuntarily gave birth to these words, "I am an American!"
To see the flag of one's country in a strange land, and floating upon strange waters, produces feelings which none can know except those who experience them. I can now say that I am an American. While at home, the warmth and fire of the American spirit lay in silent slumber in my bosom; but the winds of foreign climes have fanned it into a flame.
I have seen some of the finest specimens of painting and sculpture of both ancient and modern times. The vast variety of curiosities, also, from every country on the globe, together with every novelty that genius could invent or imagination conceive which I have been compelled to witness in the course of my travels, would be too heavy a tax upon my time to describe and upon your patience to read. I have witnessed the wealth and splendor of many of the towns of Europe, have gazed with admiration upon her widely extended plains, her lofty mountains, her moldering castles, and her extensive vineyards; for at this season Nature is clad in her bridal robes, and smiles under the benign jurisprudence of her Author.
I have also listened to the blandishments, gazed upon the pride and fashion of a world grown old in luxury and refinement, viewed the pageantry of kings, queens, lords, and nobles, and am now where military honor and princely dignity must bow at the shrine of clerical superiority. In fine, my mind has become cloyed with novelty, pomp, and show, and turns with disgust from the glare of fashion to commune with itself in retired meditation.
Were it consistent with the will of Deity and consonant with the convictions of my own bosom, most gladly would I retreat from the oppressing heat of public life, and seek repose in the cool and refreshing shades of domestic endearments and bask in the affections of my own little family circle. But the will of God be done. Can the Messiah's kingdom but be advanced through my toil, privation, and excessive labors and at last sanctify my work through the effusion of my own blood, I yield, O Lord! I yield to thy righteous mandate, imploring help from thee in the hour of trial and strength in the day of weakness to faithfully endure until my immortal spirit shall be driven from its earthly mansion to find a refuge in the bosom of its God!
If the friends in America shall be edified in reading this letter from Bro. Hyde, I hope they will remember one thing; and that is this: that he hopes he has a wife and two children living there; but the distance is so great between him and them, that his arm is not long enough to administer to their wants. I have said enough. Lord, bless my wife and children and the hand that ministers good to them, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Adieu for the present.
Good rest on all the saints, throughout the world,
ORSON HYDE.
-Times and Seasons, vol. 2, pp. 570-573.
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